Enjoy Retirement: Plenty of Time for a Shaggy Dog Story! LbNA #75365

The Shaggy Dog Contest

Hello my name is Cletus, Cletus Gore to be exact. This is my dog. My dog’s name is Blue. Some of the townsfolk call him Old Blue even though he is only one year old. They tell me old and Blue just naturally go together if Blue is the name of a dog, even for a dog that is only one year old. The townsfolk might call him Old Blue, but I just call him Blue because he isn’t really old. He’s just one year old after all. Someday he will be really old for real and then it will be proper for the townsfolk to call him Old Blue. I’m sure I’ll probably call him Old Blue by then too!

By the way, my dog Blue is called Blue because he has blue eyes, not because blue is the color of Blue’s coat. He has the bluest eyes of any dog you have ever seen! Only you can’t ever see them. You can’t ever see his eyes because my dog Blue is also a very, very shaggy dog. You have to lift up on my dog Blue’s very shaggy hair to see that his eyes are indeed blue. Most of the townsfolk just take my word for it that my dog Blue has blue eyes because they usually don’t check for themselves to see if my dog Blue’s eyes are really blue. There is a lot of shaggy hair in front of Blue's eyes. In fact, I think my dog Blue is the shaggiest dog in town!

What do you think Blue?

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”

Our town is all about dogs. We have dogs everywhere in our town. Our town is famous for them. Oh, our town is all about boulders too. And rocks. And stones. Then more boulders with some rocks and some rocks with stones and some boulders with stones. Then rocks and stones. And even sometimes boulders with rocks and stones mixed all together. And dogs. Always dogs. Our town is mostly all about dogs. It’s even right there in our town’s name.

Folks have written stories about our town. Folks have written poems about our town. There are songs about our town. Why there's even plenty of paintings hanging in places that are about some bits of scenery in our town.

I’ve lived in this town my whole life. I was born here. My parents were born here. I go to school here. I do odd jobs around town like having a paper route, cutting grass in the summer, washing windows, raking leaves in the fall, and shoveling snow in the winter. I used to even walk dogs for folks who wanted some exercise for their dogs but they didn't have the time themselves to walk their dog. That was the best job of all for me since I love dogs. Sometimes I will walk a neighborhood dog while I'm walking my shaggy dog Blue. Just for fun theses days though, no charge for having a dog friend tag along for Blue while we walk together in our town. Everyone in town loves to live here. I can never imagine anyone wanting to leave here. I’m sure our town will get bigger and bigger as the years go by!

Because our town is mostly about dogs, we have a very big day for dogs every year in our town. And that very big day in our town is today! This is the day that our town holds the annual Shaggy Dog Contest! Each year on this very day all of the shaggy dogs in our town gather together to be judged which dog is the shaggiest dog in our town. The dog who wins is crowned the shaggiest dog champion and that shaggy dog gets to wear a special champion’s collar around our town for the whole year until the next Shaggy Dog Contest is held on the very same date next year. The annual Shaggy Dog contest is held by a small fire ring at the top of that hill that is down the road after you take the turn past the house that has a cool balancing rock in the back yard and a twisted small tree out in the front yard. I’ll fill you in more about that later.

I’m very excited about this year’s annual Shaggy Dog contest because Blue is old enough this year since he is now one year old. All dogs who hope to be judged as our town’s shaggiest dog have to be at least one years old to enter the contest. He was just a puppy at this time last year which, by the rules, made him too young to participate in the annual Shaggy Dog Contest last year. My dog Blue has a white shaggy coat and a red collar and don’t forget his blue eyes. Blue has blue eyes, even though you can't see them. This will be the first time for us at the Shaggy Dog contest!

More great news besides my dog Blue being old enough this year to participate because he is more than one year old. The dog that won the town's annual Shaggy Dog contest last year moved out of our town. Now that dog who moved out of our town will no longer be eligible for our town’s Shaggy Dog contest this year. He won’t be eligible again unless he moves back into our town before the Shaggy Dog contest next year. And the dog who won our town’s Shaggy Dog contest two years ago died. His name was Old Blue. He died because, well, he was old. The townsfolk used to call him Old Blue too before he got old, just like they call my dog Old Blue now before he is old. That Old Blue was not my Old Blue in case you were all wondering. My dog Old Blue is not old if you do remember. My Blue is young and he is still alive. That other Old Blue dog died because he was old. Unfortunately, the dog that won our town’s Shaggy Dog contest three years ago also died. He got run over by our town’s welcome wagon a few months back. The owner of that dog cried for weeks and weeks. Turns out her shaggy dog was sitting on her lap at the time. Well I guess thinking about it now, some of the great news wasn’t that great for some of those other shaggy dogs after all.

So now it is time to walk my shaggy dog Blue to our town’s Shaggy Dog contest that is held by the small fire ring at the top of that hill that is down the road after you take the turn past the house that has a cool balancing rock in the back yard and a twisted small tree out in the front yard.

I live on the edge of town so I'll need to walk for a while with my shaggy dog Blue to get to the contest. I walk for a bit with my dog and then I take Blue past the green gate near the town's old compost pile. No sooner do I pass the green gate with my dog Blue do we come up upon the Clark Family house high up on the left with Mrs. Clark and her 9 children out on their porch having some lunch together. She and all her 9 children love my dog Blue. I can never walk past their house without Mrs. Clark and all her 9 children either running down to the road to see Blue or inviting us to come up and see them and have a little lunch with them. Sometimes they invite me and my shaggy dog Blue up for dinner if it's later in the day. Sometimes they invite me and Blue up for an ice pop on a hot day or some hot cocoa on a cold day. Luckily Mrs. Clark and her 9 come running down so I don’t have to go up to their house on account of the fact that I am going to the Shaggy Dog contest today and I am in a bit of a hurry. So Mrs. Clark and Eddie, Laura, Larry, Alice, Ricky, Holly, Oliver, Lisa, and Erma all come running down to pat my dog Blue on the road instead of me climbing up to their house.

“Where are you and your shaggy dog Old Blue heading on this fine day Cletus?” asks Mrs. Clark as she gives Blue a vigorous pat.

“Me and my dog Blue are heading to the town’s annual Shaggy Dog contest today!” I tell her.

“Is the annual Shaggy Dog contest still being held by the small fire ring at the top of that hill that is down the road after you take the turn past the house that has a cool balancing rock in the back yard and a twisted small tree out in the front yard?”

“Why, yes it is Mrs. Clark, the town’s Shaggy Dog contest is still held by the small fire ring at the top of that hill that is down the road after you take the turn past the house that has a cool balancing rock in the back yard and a twisted small tree out in the front yard!” I replied.

Mrs. Clark, Eddie, Laura, Larry, Alice, Ricky, Holly, Oliver, Lisa, and Erma each have a hand on Blue and are patting away to Blue’s enjoyment. There is plenty of Blue to go around since he is so shaggy after all.

Eddie takes a huge whiff of Blue’s hair with his nose and asks me, “Hey Cletus, how do you keep Blue from smelling?”

“Simple Eddie” I reply, “I just cover up his nose”

“Speak Old Blue!” Erma commands.

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!” Blue barks out to Erma’s request

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”

“You and Old Blue are sure to win the Shaggy Dog contest this year! I think Blue is the shaggiest dog I have ever seen.” Laura howls.

I could tell you what each of the other children said but I don’t want to take up too much of your time. Each of the other children did tell me in some way or another how shaggy Blue is and that he is sure to win the contest this year!

“Good luck!” they all say as we wave our goodbyes to each other.

I am really starting to believe that Blue might win our town’s Shaggy Dog contest this year!

Me and my shaggy dog Blue continue walking up the road on our way to the town’s Shaggy Dog contest that is held by the small fire ring at the top of that hill that is down the road after you take the turn past the house that has a cool balancing rock in the back yard and a twisted small tree out in the front yard.

A short distance up the road we run into William Wilson standing along the road on the left in front of his house. He’s lived in the town about 12 years.

“Where are you and your shaggy dog Old Blue heading on this fine day Cletus?” William Wilson asks

“Me and my dog Blue are heading to the town’s annual Shaggy Dog contest today!” I say.

“I didn’t realize that way today” he replied.

“Why yes it is. I’m heading there now. It’s held by the small fire ring at the top of that hill that is down the road after you take the turn past the house that has a cool balancing rock in the back yard and a twisted small tree out in the front yard”

“Say Cletus, did you and Old Blue happen to go to the Flea Circus that was in town the other day?”

“Why yes in fact we did go to see the Flea Circus, Blue stole the whole show!”

“Well good luck to you both, I can’t remember ever seeing a shaggier dog than your Old Blue there” William Wilson offered.

“Thank you William, me and Blue will do our best!”

“Goodbye Blue!”

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!” Blue woofs out.

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”

My hopes about Blue winning the town’s Shaggy Dog contest are building by the minute! I just can’t wait to get to the town’s Shaggy Dog contest! Me and my shaggy dog Blue pick up our pace and start walking swiftly up the road on our way to the town’s Shaggy Dog contest that is held by the small fire ring at the top of that hill that is down the road after you take the turn past the house that has a cool balancing rock in the back yard and a twisted small tree out in the front yard.

We pass a few neighbor’s houses who live along the road who were not home or were too busy to talk today. That is okay since I am excited and in a hurry to get to the contest with my shaggy dog Blue. Those were the Winslow’s house on the left, and then Hannah Stevens’ house.
Then we come to Easter Carter’s house on the left. She is 15. Same age as me. I’m sweet on her but she seems to only like my dog Blue more than me. She’s always making excuses all the time just to come over and pat my shaggy dog Blue. Easter is also very shy. While she’s patting away at Blue she talks to me without hardly ever looking at me. Just my shaggy dog Blue. I know she thinks Blue is the shaggiest dog she’s ever seen. I’ve heard her say just that every time she sees Blue. Today is no exception.

“Look at you! You are such a good boy Blue” Easter says while enthusiastically giving Blue the patting of his life.

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!” Blue woofs back

“And aren’t you just the shaggiest dog ever!

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”

“Where are you and your shaggy dog Blue heading on this fine day Cletus?” Easter asks without looking at me as usual.

“Me and Blue are heading to the town’s annual Shaggy Dog contest today!” I tell her.

“The Shaggy Dog Contest! Why Blue here is sure to win the Shaggy Dog Contest!” She shouts with glee

Easter continues to give Blue a proper patting and scratching.

“Say Cletus, I could walk with you and show you where the contest is being held if you’d like” Easter offers as she briefly looks away from Blue and up at me.

“That’s mighty nice of you Easter, but I know where the contest is going to be. It’s being held by the small fire ring at the top of that hill that is down the road after you take the turn past the house that has a cool balancing rock in the back yard and a twisted small tree out in the front yard. I should find the location without any difficulty”

“Thank you anyway”

“Well okay then I guess. Maybe we can take Blue for a walk another day?” She asks

"Another day will be fine Easter."

She just loves my shaggy dog Blue! Maybe someday she’ll like me too!

“Goodbye Easter! Me and Blue are in a bit of a hurry to get to the contest”

“See you later, Cletus!”

“Good luck at the Shaggy Dog contest! Be sure to come back and show me Blue’s shaggy dog champion’s collar when he wins”

“Blue’s just the cutest and shaggiest dog in town!”

“Thanks Easter! See you later”

As me and Blue turn to head down the road, I briefly look back to see that Easter’s eyes are still looking up the road at Blue as we’re walking away. She loves my shaggy dog Blue! Someday maybe she’ll give me a little hint whether she might like me as much as Blue.

I know Easter likes Blue, and even she thinks my shaggy dog Blue is shaggy enough to win our town’s Shaggy Dog contest because he is so shaggy! I think me and Blue really do have a good chance to win!

Me and Blue are back on track on our way to our town’s Shaggy Dog contest. Just up the road we come to James Dermerit’s house in the woods along the right of the road. He is 16 and a nice boy. I think he might like Easter too. But since he doesn’t have a dog, Easter doesn’t come over to visit him so much. I peer into the woods along a path that leads to his house. Low and behold James Dermerit is in his yard. He sees me and my shaggy dog Blue looking into his yard in the woods and waves from the distance and I wave back.

My shaggy dog Blue lets out a series of yowls to say hi.

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”

Blue bellows out barking that easily cover the distance between Blue and James Dermerit.

“That is one shaggy dog Cletus!” James Dermerit shouts.

“Blue’s a lot shaggier than last time you went by”

Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”

Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!” Blue seems to bark again in agreement.

I doubt James Dermerit knows that the town’s Shaggy Dog contest is being held today by the small fire ring at the top of that hill that is down the road after you take the turn past the house that has a cool balancing rock in the back yard and a twisted small tree out in the front yard.

After parting waves, me and Blue continue our journey to our town’s Shaggy Dog contest.

Soon we come upon Dorcas Foster who lives along the road on the left. He has 17 chickens running all around his feet. Blue is a good boy and would never hurt any of those chickens, so he pays them no mind other than to give out several excited and playful barks.

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”

Dorcas Foster has a beard and long unkempt hair. If our town ever held a shaggy person contest, Dorcas would surely win hands down! This makes the sight before me even more peculiar. Even though Dorcas Foster has a beard and long unkempt hair and has chickens scurrying all around his feet, he is oddly wearing a full business suit, while my dog Blue, just pants.

“Where are you and your shaggy dog Old Blue heading on this fine day Cletus?”

“Me and my dog Blue are heading to the town’s annual Shaggy Dog contest today!” I say.

“Is that annual Shaggy Dog contest still being held by the small fire ring at the top of that hill that is down the road after you take the turn past the house that has a cool balancing rock in the back yard and a twisted small tree out in the front yard?” He asks.

“Why yes that is the very place!”

Dorcas then stokes and play with his long scraggly beard and retorts with a wide grin,

“Say Cletus, how do you think I would fare at the contest?”

“Well”, I say while emphatically patting my shaggy dog Blue, “you sure to finish no better than second!”

With that he produced a bellowing howl of a laugh befitting of the image he presents.


“But seriously I must say, your dog Old Blue is a very shaggy dog indeed. I’ve probably not seen the like. Good luck to you at the contest, and your dog Old Blue too.”

“Thank you Mr. Foster, goodbye!

Now I’m so sure that my dog Blue will win the town’s Shaggy Dog contest that I’m beginning to imagine Blue wearing the special champion’s collar the Shaggy Dog contest winner gets to wear for the following year. Everyone we have met on the road to the Shaggy Dog contest so far thinks Blue is the shaggiest dog they have ever seen. Now I really can’t wait to get to the contest!

Me and my shaggy dog Blue continue walking up the road on our way to the town’s Shaggy Dog contest that is held by the small fire ring at the top of that hill that is down the road after you take the turn past the house that has a cool balancing rock in the back yard and a twisted small tree out in the front yard.

But no sooner do we start walking again, don’t we run straight into Isaac Dade along the road on the left. He’s 18 years old. He’s 18 years old and he’s standing along the road. He’s 18 years old and along the road with a dog of his own. He’s 18 years old and along the road with a dog of his own that is also shaggy!! Oh no! Potential competition! Maybe he doesn’t know the contest is today and he certainly won’t hear it from me.

My shaggy dog Blue and Isaac Dade’s shaggy dog start barking at each other in friendly yelps.

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!” Goes my shaggy dog Blue.

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!” Retorts Isaac Dade’s shaggy dog.

And more barking

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”


“Where are you and your shaggy dog Old Blue heading on this fine day Cletus?” asks Isaac.

“Oh, me and Blue are out for a nice stroll today to enjoy the weather” I fib to Isaac.

“Isn’t the annual Shaggy Dog contest being held by the small fire ring at the top of that hill that is down the road after you take the turn past the house that has a cool balancing rock in the back yard and a twisted small tree out in the front yard today?” Isaac says, squinting his eyes to focus as he stares at me to study my response.

“Oh is that today?” I reply playing Mickey the dunce. “I suppose I might be able to fit the Shaggy Dog contest in since I am heading that way on our walk anyway. Thanks for letting me know, Isaac.”

“Mind if we join you on your walk since we were on our way to the town’s Shaggy Dog contest today?”

“If you insist” I growled through a fake smile and clenched teeth.

Oh no! Isaac’s dog is very shaggy too! What will the judges think!

Isaac’s dog is named Nutmeg. She is a shaggy dog with a brown coat, black collar, and green eyes. Wait a minute! I can see her green eyes! Maybe she isn’t quite as shaggy as my shaggy dog Blue after all!! No one can see my dog Blue’s eyes because he has so much shaggy hair that you have to pull his hair aside just to see his blue eyes. I am confident once again that my dog Blue IS the shaggiest dog in town and I have nothing to worry about.

Isaac Dade reinforces my thinking.

“Say Cletus, I always thought my dog Nutmeg was the shaggiest dog ever. That is until we come across you and Old Blue here today. Old Blue has gotten a lot shaggier since I last saw him as a puppy. I don’t honestly think my Nutmeg has a chance against your shaggy dog Old Blue. Old Blue is so shaggy that I can’t even see his eyes at all”

“I don’t know about that Isaac, your Nutmeg there seems pretty shaggy herself” I say to Isaac, knowing the truth but just trying to be nice.

So now we start walking together on our way to the annual Shaggy Dog contest being held by the small fire ring at the top of that hill that is down the road after you take the turn past the house that has a cool balancing rock in the back yard and a twisted small tree out in the front yard today. Now it is me and my dog Blue with the white coat, red collar, and his blue eyes and Isaac and his dog Nutmeg with the brown coat, black collar and green eyes. I step buoyantly as I know Blue will be the shaggiest dog at the town’s Shaggy Dog contest! Nutmeg doesn’t stand a chance. Everyone we have met along the road has said that my shaggy dog Blue is the shaggiest dog they have ever seen!

Occasionally our shaggy dogs see a squirrel or a bird and bark together.

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!” “Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!” “Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”

We pass the old Ingersall house in the woods on the right and then approach the Widow Day’s house on the left, also well into the woods. She’s been a widow for some 20 odd years but the Widow is still as kind and as friendly as ever. And wouldn’t you know it, the Widow Day is standing along the road. The Widow Day is standing along the road with a dog of her own. The Widow Day is standing along the road with a dog of her own that is also shaggy! Oh no! More potential competition! Maybe she doesn’t know the contest is today and she certainly won’t hear it from me.

Before we exchange customary pleasantries, all three shaggy dogs begin our conversations with a chorus of woofs!

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”
“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”
“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”

“Well hello Cletus, hello Isaac. Where would you two boys with your two shaggy dogs be heading to on this fine day?” Widow Day inquires.

Speaking for both of us, I tell the Widow Day,

“We are out for out for a nice stroll today to enjoy the weather”

She replies with a knowing smirk, appearing to see through our gamesmanship.

“Are you sure you two boys and your two shaggy dogs aren’t heading to the annual Shaggy Dog contest being held by the small fire ring at the top of that hill that is down the road after you take the turn past the house that has a cool balancing rock in the back yard and a twisted small tree out in the front yard today?”

“Oh, is that today?” Isaac replies, stealing my same unconvincing line I gave him earlier.

“Care to join me and my dog? We are heading to the contest and you boys do have two pretty shaggy dogs with you.”

“Suppose we could fit in the town’s Shaggy Dog contest since we are going that way and all and we do just happen to have two shaggy dogs with us.” I innocently reply for the both of us.

I have to worry about competition now from another shaggy dog in town when we get to our town’s Shaggy Dog contest. The Widow Day’s dog is named Shadow and has a black coat with grey eyes and a green collar.

So now we all start walking together on our way to the annual Shaggy Dog contest being held by the small fire ring at the top of that hill that is down the road after you take the turn past the house that has a cool balancing rock in the back yard and a twisted small tree out in the front yard today. Only now it is me and my dog Blue with the white coat, red collar, and his blue eyes, Isaac and his dog Nutmeg with the brown coat, black collar and green eyes and now Widow Day and her dog Shadow with a black coat, grey eyes, and a green collar.

Then it dawns on me. I can see Shadow’s eyes too, just like I could see Nutmeg’s eyes! That can only mean one thing. Shadow isn’t as shaggy as my dog Blue is either! Now I am surer than ever that my dog Blue will win the town’s Shaggy Dog contest and wear the special collar for the next whole year!

Any lingering doubts that I might have had were quickly extinguished by the Widow Day herself.

“Say Cletus, I always thought my dog Shadow was the shaggiest dog ever. That is until we come across you and Old Blue here today. Old Blue has gotten a lot shaggier since I last saw him as a puppy. I don’t honestly think my Shadow has a chance against your shaggy dog Old Blue. Old Blue is so shaggy that I can’t even see his eyes at all. And Isaac, even though you have a very shaggy dog there yourself, Nutmeg just doesn’t compare to Old Blue when it comes to being shaggy.”

“I don’t know about that Widow Day mam, your Shadow there seems pretty shaggy herself” I say to the Widow Day, knowing the truth but trying to be nice.

So there it is! Old Blue must be the shaggiest dog in town!!! We are going to win the town’s Shaggy Dog contest! There is little doubt about it now!

I step confidently along the road in silent jubilation as I know Blue must be the shaggiest dog in town and will win the town’s Shaggy Dog contest! Even the owners of other shaggy dogs in the contest think my shaggy dog Blue is the shaggiest dog in town. Everyone we have met along the road has said that Blue is the shaggiest dog they have ever seen!

Just past the Widow Day’s house is our town’s square. At the square, I take Blue left and Isaac and his dog Nutmeg with the brown coat, black collar and green eyes and now Widow Day and her dog Shadow with a black coat, grey eyes, and a green collar follow closely behind.

We walk for a while passing one of the Wharf family homes with no one out and about. We walk a little bit more until we get to Peter Lurvey’s house way in the woods on the left. He has lots of goats on his property, 25 at last count. And wouldn’t you know it, Peter Lurvey is standing along the road. Peter Lurvey is standing along the road with a dog of his own. Peter Lurvey is standing along the road with a dog of his own that is also shaggy! Peter Lurvey is standing along the road with a dog of his own that is also shaggy but his dog has a huge bandage over his nose!

As we get closer the three dog walking together begin to bark.

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”
“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”
“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”

Bur Peter Lurvey’s dog does not join in the antics.

Peter’s dog’s name is Biscuit and has a tan coat with purple collar, black eyes, and now one big bandage.

“Well hello Cletus. Hello Isaac. Hello Widow Day. Where would you and your shaggy dogs be heading to on this fine day?”

Speaking for all three of us I tell him, “We are out for out for a nice stroll today to enjoy the weather”

“Are you sure you two boys and the good Widow Day aren’t heading with your three very shaggy dogs to the Shaggy Dog contest being held by the small fire ring at the top of that hill that is down the road after you take the turn past the house that has a cool balancing rock in the back yard and a twisted small tree out in the front yard today?”

“Is that contest today?” We all shout in unrehearsed unison.

“Why yes it is” Replies Peter. Me and my dog were set to participate in the town’s Shaggy Dog contest until my dog lost his nose. One of my goats bit it clean off this very morning. He has to heal up for now.”

“You dog lost his nose? I ask.

“How does he smell?”

“Awful” Peter volunteered.

“Even though Biscuit can’t participate this year, can me and Biscuit here walk with you all to the town’s Shaggy Dog contest today?”

“Of course!” We all sing.

So now we all start walking together on our way to the annual Shaggy Dog contest being held by the small fire ring at the top of that hill that is down the road after you take the turn past the house that has a cool balancing rock in the back yard and a twisted small tree out in the front yard today. Only now it is me and my dog Blue with the white coat, red collar, and his blue eyes, Isaac and his dog Nutmeg with the brown coat, black collar and green eyes and now Widow Day and her dog Shadow with the black coat, grey eyes, and a green collar and now Peter and Peter’s dog Biscuit with the tan coat with purple collar, black eyes, and that one big bandage. That one big bandage on Biscuit means I don’t have to worry about Biscuit at the town’s Shaggy Dog contest this year. Too bad for Peter and Biscuit, I never want a dog to get hurt and I’m sure Biscuit will eventually heal up nicely.

Now there are four of us walking four dogs up the road from Peter Lurvey’s house. There’s me with Blue with the white coat, red collar, and his blue eyes, Isaac and his dog Nutmeg with the brown coat, black collar and green eyes and now Widow Day and her dog Shadow with the black coat, grey eyes, and a green collar and now Peter’s dog Biscuit with the tan coat with purple collar, black eyes, and that one big bandage.

Peter suddenly blurts out.

“Say Cletus, I always thought my dog Biscuit was the shaggiest dog ever. That is until we come across you and Old Blue here today. Old Blue has gotten a lot shaggier since I last saw him as a puppy. I don’t honestly think my Biscuit would have a chance against your shaggy dog Old Blue. Old Blue is so shaggy that I can’t even see his eyes at all. And Isaac, even though you have a very shaggy dog there yourself, Nutmeg just doesn’t compare to Old Blue when it comes to being shaggy. No offense Widow Day, but your shaggy dog Shadow is also very shaggy but just not as shaggy as Cletus’s shaggy dog Old Blue.”

“Old Blue is the shaggiest dog I’ve ever laid eyes on!”

A little bit after Peter Lurvey’s house and those 25 nose eating goats, I turn left with Blue. Isaac and his dog Nutmeg with the brown coat, black collar and green eyes and Widow Day and her dog Shadow with a black coat, grey eyes, and a green collar and Peter with his dog Biscuit with the tan coat with purple collar, black eyes, and also that one big bandage, follow closely behind.

I keep imagining the impending coronation of my dog Blue as the shaggiest dog in town with the special champion’s collar. He will win the contest today!

Peter chimes up again.

“Hey Cletus, I've been hearing that shaggy dog of yours is quite the dancer!”

“No Peter, you must have heard wrong”

“It’s like he’s got two left feet”

We walk together down the road for a while. Thant’s me with Blue with the white coat, red collar, and his blue eyes, Isaac and his dog Nutmeg with the brown coat, black collar and green eyes and now Widow Day and her dog Shadow with the black coat, grey eyes, and a green collar and now Peter’s dog Biscuit with the tan coat with purple collar, black eyes, and that one big bandage. We pass neighbor’s houses along the way. They are either not at home or their houses are deeper in the woods and hard to see from the road.

Every now and again our troupe of shaggy dogs let out with a group barking spree.

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”
“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”
“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”

Except of course for Peter Lurvey’s dog Biscuit with the bandage on his nose and all.

Finally we all see a landmark that shows we are getting closer to the location of the town’s annual Shaggy Dog contest being held by the small fire ring at the top of that hill that is down the road after you take the turn past the house that has a cool balancing rock in the back yard and a twisted small tree out in the front yard today.

It is the house with the balancing rock in the back yard and a twisted small tree out in the front yard!! The house is near the road on the left. This is where a family lived before they moved out in ’36. The balancing rock is high up out back and leans precariously against a tree that keeps it from falling down into the house. Maybe that is why the family moved out in the first place. But I don’t know that for sure, I’m just think that might be why. But I know I would move if I had a balancing rock high up out back and it was leaning precariously against a tree that kept it from falling down into my house.

Right out front is that twisted small tree that is as interesting as it sounds. We all let out a hoot when we realize we are getting closer to the final turn. The dogs join us.

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”
“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”
“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”

So after stopping at that old house for a spell, we all walk together down the road for a while. That’s me and Blue with his white coat, red collar, and blue eyes. Isaac and his dog Nutmeg with the brown coat, black collar and green eyes. Widow Day and her dog Shadow with the black coat, grey eyes, and a green collar and Peter’s dog Biscuit with the tan coat with purple collar, black eyes, and that one big bandage. We pass some more neighbor’s houses along the way. They are either not at home or their houses are deeper in the woods and harder for folks to see them from the road.

After that while of walking, we all stop at that turn that’s past that house that had that cool balancing rock in the back yard and that twisted small tree out in the front yard.

The dogs all sense our anticipation.

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”
“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”
“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”

I turn left with Blue. Isaac and his dog Nutmeg with the brown coat, black collar and green eyes, Widow Day and her dog Shadow with a black coat, grey eyes, and a green collar and Peter with his dog Biscuit with the tan coat with purple collar, black eyes, and also that one big bandage, follow closely behind.

My heart is pounding with excitement! We soon pass over a small brook and continue along the road. I can’t wait to get to the top of the hill on this road to the place where the small fire ring is. That’s where our town’s annual Shaggy Dog contest is held every year! Visions of Blue wearing the special champion’s collar flood my mind! Easter will want to see my shaggy dog Blue more and more if Blue wins the special champion's collar!

Finally nearing top of the hill is in sight and the dogs announce our arrival to the top of the hill with gusto!

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”
“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”
“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”

At the top of the hill, warming himself with a small fire at the small fire ring, is a man I do not recognize. And he was alone. All alone. No one else was at the small fire ring at the top of the hill where the Shaggy Dog contest was to be.

“Are we too early, or are we too late?” I ask in panic.

Responding without looking up as he stirred the fire.

“You’re too neither”

“Excuse me?” I stammer.

“Said you’re too neither. Neither too early. Neither too late”

“Seems like somebody never got word. The town’s annual Shaggy Dog contest was cancelled some time ago. ”

His head then lifted to meet my crestfallen gaze.

“I will say that is a pretty shaggy dog you got there young fella, but I’ve seen shaggier”

With that, I took Blue and ran behind that big boulder to hide my tears.

Well my name is Cletus Gore and that’s my shaggy dog story and I’m sticking to it!

Arf!