Auld Reekie RETIRED LbNA #13849 (ARCHIVED)

Article found in The Annals of Scientific Oddities

SCIENTISTS ASTOUNDED
by Sylvis Iocus

What appears to be a pertified whale
has been found by hikers in a popular
park. The "whale" theory might have
been discounted as a figment of over-
active imagination if not for another
find. Even more astounding than the
"whale" is that a stone tablet has
also been unearthed near the "whale"
which may explain how it came to be
situated inland in a wooded area near
a pond.

Having no idea what this find might be
or how important it might be historic-
ally, local and state officials called
in Dr.Collum Silex Silicis, renowned
Professor Emeritus in cryptology and
whaleology from the University of
Viapuniceus, a new London institution,
to shed light on these two finds.

Professor Silicis measured the "whale",
made sketches and took photographs. The
tablet was brought back to his lab for
carbon dating and analysis. It was many
months before the professor was able to
decipher the symbols on the tablet. The
following is an interpretation of the
story with Dr.Silicis' additions in
parentheses:

big wave large fish (come) high on (top
of) village big stink (must) move

When the translation was made, the pro-
fessor sent his assistants to scour the
area in hopes of finding further evidence
of human habitation. Two trees now grow
from the area the whale once spouted
water. Due west of there where there now
grows a double tree another significant
item was found.

Could a whale really have been dumped on
top of a prehistoric village forcing the
inhabitants to move because of the smell?
Could the whale have turned to stone over
the ages?

Further study of soil samples and rock
formations in the area will be done to
determine if there is a basis in fact
for such conjecture.